Two of the most powerful words that we can speak are “I am,” as they are often followed by descriptors of ourselves that are self-proclaimed. As loaded as the words “I am” are, how often do they precede a positive statement? The last time you were faced with a problem did you think “I am smart and capable,” or did you think “I am a mess and I have no idea what to do”? The fact of the matter is, that although outside relationships are crucial to our well-being, we cannot create healthy external relationships until we have a healthy relationship with ourselves. Until you have a positive relationship with “I am” there will be a tug when you hand out compliments or phrases that begin with external pronouns like “you are.” Until you empower yourself, can you really empower and cultivate healthy relationships with others?
You Are What You Repeatedly Do…and Say
You have likely heard that “the secret to success is hidden in your daily routine,” or “practice makes perfect” Generally, those sayings are associated with waking up early or healthy eating, but they ring just as true when it comes to the thoughts we think and how we speak to ourselves. Does your daily routine include time for affirmations or another self-care practice that positively reinforce how you see yourself? If not, it should. Whether you speak it, write it down, or just think it, saying “I am ______________” is powerful. Afterall, our self-image effects how we feel about ourselves and the decisions that we make, including how we act and even what we buy. Consistency is the key to starting a mental routine that will not only change your life but change how you interact with those around you. Even if you don’t believe it at first, say it anyway because in the future, sooner than you think, you will say to yourself, “I am smart” or “I am confident” or “I am charitable,” and you will believe it. Afterall, you are what you repeatedly say.
Your Mind is a Muscle Too
Just as training your physical body to do anything takes commitment, practice, and maybe even some pain; training your mind is the same. But, instead of going to a gym, you can exercise your mind anywhere. The number of thoughts that our mind is capable of thinking each day is astounding, but how many of your thoughts are positive? Are you subconsciously strangling your potential by having negative thoughts? If your mind can do calculus, it can be trained to have a positive self-image of yourself, but re-wiring the most intimate thoughts about yourself takes just as much work. If you are serious about your physical health, you should also be serious about your mental health. Practice making small changes in your life that will mature your “I am” statements into meaningful and lasting qualities. Read before you watch TV, call before you text, cook instead of ordering in—these simple practices will teach you to love spending time with yourself. You will likely learn something new and you will empower yourself to be able to have a meaningful “I am.” Enriching your life starts by strengthening the muscle that is always engaged, always working, but often forgotten.
The Power of Visualization
In a recent podcast that featured Olympic Gymnast Shawn Johnson, Johnson noted that her gymnastics coach would have her visualize herself doing a perfect routine. If during that visualization of her routine she made a mistake, she was supposed to begin the exercise again. She then followed by talking about how crucial our thoughts are to our potential and the power that they have to manifest our physical actions. Whether you want to be an Olympic Gymnast, a CEO, a mother, a teacher, or just an amazing friend, start with visualizing yourself as the best person to fit that role.
Your Relationship with Yourself Defines Your Relationships with Others
Expecting yourself to be a good friend and be good at nurturing relationships with others requires you to be a friend to yourself. Walking comes before running and having a positive relationship with yourself is the predecessor to any relationship with someone else, personal or professional. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend or closest acquaintance. Take all the qualities that you look for in a great friend (respect, love, support, encouragement) and show up for yourself as that person. Not only will those around you recognize that you carry yourself with confidence, but you will in turn have the poise to boldly make new connections that will be more than surface level. You have surely met those people who could pick up a handful of dirt off the ground and sell it to someone. They have charisma, charm, and a “way” with how they conduct themselves. Although those people are still human and surely have some negative thoughts, they do not have a swarm of self-doubting, pessimistic voices running through their mind. If you want to be the best, it starts with feeling like you can be the best.
Use Your Resources
An essential piece to being your best self, other than believing in yourself, is to use resources that will enrich your abilities. Perhaps you want to say, “I am a great friend,” or “I am a loyal business partner” but you are not sure where to begin—Circles is the answer for you! The mission of Circles is to help you cultivate and nurture meaningful relationships that go much deeper than surface level. We are here to help you stay up to date with the most meaningful relationships in your life, both personal and professional. We are confident that your life will be enriched, and you will be a more confident individual, friend, and Connection with Circles.