When someone gives their time to talk to us and gives us information about themselves, it is important we treat their words as sacred information not to be thrown away.
One of the best ways to build a relationship is by serving people because it shows them you care. You don’t need to provide them a car or build them a house, you do however, need to show someone that you are there for them. By consistently showing genuine interest and doing what you can to help, you can build a social bond that can last a lifetime.
These small acts of kindness may seem insignificant, but it is crucial they are done. Small acts of service can be taking time to listen, remembering the big and small details, helping them understand their value, etc.
Taking Time to Listen
In a busy world, sometimes it is hard to find the time to sit down and really listen to the people you know. Listening is one of the greatest gifts to give someone. The act of listening is not to only listen to words and sounds, but also to engage with someone and see into someone’s heart and mind. True active listening takes work, effort and time. Therefore, true listening is one of the greatest services one can render to others. Ralph Nichols said, “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
Listening is truly a way to show someone they are worth your time. It is so easy to brush someone off because we forget the power of interacting in the mist of our busy days that turn into busy weeks and then busy years. But if we truly care about someone, then we won’t let friendships die because of the lack of time, even when we have a million things going on. When we sacrifice our time, anytime spend is significant. We don’t need to have an immense amount of time, and conversations don’t have to be long, just meaningful. Meaningful conversations will not only nurture the person to whom you are listening to, but they will nurture your soul as well. Listening is truly a way to build relationships.
As we truly care about someone, we will want to get to know them better. Listening creates a mutual understanding and opens our eyes to see someone clearly. And as we understand someone, we build a stronger relationship and our lives will be more fulfilled.
Remembering the Details
Have you ever had a heartfelt conversation with someone and the next time they see you they remember what you were going through and ask you specific things you talked about? It means so much, doesn’t it? Being a good listener is a combination of listening and then caring enough to remember details later. When someone gives their time to talk to us and gives us information about themselves, it is important we treat their words as sacred information not to be thrown away.
Many people can have good conversations with each other. But what sets a person who truly cares apart from the rest of the normal acquaintances, is they choose to remember important information on others. Remembering details about others may be one of the biggest acts of service there is. Caring enough to truly remember means putting in effort to remember.
Sometimes we truly care with all our hearts to remember information on others, but our minds can be very disorganized and mix different facts with different friends. We frequently cannot remember even half the details about an individual even though our intentions are good. “Recent studies have shown that we typically remember only 25-30% of what we hear.”
Because we remember such a low percentage of what we hear, it is smart to have a way to organize information on a person after a meaningful conversation. Circles is a great app that provides a built-in system to record and organize information on friends so forgetting becomes a thing of the past. As we truly care about people, it won’t be a big deal to record different hobbies, goals, wants and needs, or factoids of theirs and what makes their world the way it is. We will love remembering, especially when our next conversation happens, and they can feel special we remembered.
Helping them Understand Their Value
If we understand who someone really is then this is when we can start to truly express our feelings for who they are as a person. When we choose to do the first two acts of service by listening and remembering, we will know their hopes, their dreams, their goals and their beliefs. We will know what makes them unique as a person and we will begin to value them in the way they deserve.
One of the most important rules for helping someone understand their value is to let them know you support them in all aspects of their lives. Nobody is perfect and everyone plays a different role in this world, and the most important thing they need to know is that you believe in them as a person. It has been said by Maya Angelou that, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” What other service is more important than believing in a person and helping them see their worth?
Effectively showing someone, we value them can be different for everyone. There is no cookie cutter way of expressing our gratitude and appreciation for someone. Everyone is very different in how they respond to different acts of kindness. It is important that we truly know someone and what makes them happy. Once we know what makes someone feel loved, we can come up with creative, additional ways to serve them.
Sometimes customizing and coming up with an act of kindness or gift for someone is hard. How many times have you been invited to some sort of party and needed to provide a gift and you have no clue what someone would want? It can be very stressful, especially if we truly care about this individual. With the Circles app guessing is turned into knowing what others would love. Often, it isn’t the big gifts that mean the most, rather, the gifts that show we are paying attention to the small details.
Serving may still seem overwhelming depending on how full our schedules may be. But as we try to do the small things, our lives and the lives of others will become more meaningful. We won’t be going through life too fast to make meaningful connections. We will have moments of significant connection in our social circle. We do not need to be the perfect friend now, or ever. We only need to try.
Circles makes nurturing relationships easy
Circles has a long list of features that are all designed to help you organize your social circle effectively. Nurturing relationships has never been easier. With Circles you can set goals to make time to reach out to those people that you care about and take those moments to effectively listen to the things that your close connections say. Circles also makes it easy to remember what people said. You can easily record notes, details and goals that you heard from the conversation and then follow up the next time you see them. Your brain is busy, and odds of remembering are slim. Circles takes care of that so you can be the friend that you dream of being.