Winning Friends the Right Way
Friendships truly are one of the best things in life. You can never have too many people in your social circle. Although your friendships will change throughout your life, there are some principles that remain the same. In fact, the concepts shared in Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” still hold true today.
While you may know that you need to pay attention to what people say and reach out to them regularly, the truth is that most of us deal with serious forgetfulness when it comes to social situations. Just think for a moment about how often you forget someone’s name after they just said it, or you see a familiar face but can’t remember where you met them.
Naturally, it isn’t that you don’t care about these people. You may just be so busy socializing that those important bits of information somehow slip your mind. On an average day, you can expect to encounter potentially hundreds of people. In addition, the typical person has about 600 people in their actual social network. When you think about it, that’s a lot of birthdays to remember.
Fortunately, there is finally a solution that helps you put Carnegie’s principles into practice so that you can strengthen relationships and meet new friends. The Circles app is based upon the same types of processes that are used for customer relationship management. You can track when you last had contact with someone and even include factoids that give you a basis for your next conversation. When building connections is important, this app has everything you need to keep all the critical information about everyone you meet in one convenient place.
How to Make People Like You
Meeting people is easy. However, making people like you is a whole different ballgame. While the basic principles of getting to know someone should always apply, such as smiling and being polite, there is a secret that Carnegie shares to make yourself likable to others.
The secret to making people like you is to simply show them that you like them. That’s it. People tend to be attracted to people who make them feel good. When you ask questions about a person’s life or pay them a compliment, you let them know that you care about how they feel. While you don’t want to overdo it, just mentioning something from the last conversation that you had makes it clear that you find them memorable. In turn, the other person will be interested in getting to know you better.
Moving Beyond The Surface
When you have so many people in your social circle, it is easy to stick to surface level topics. Most likely, you’ve seen this play out time and time again at parties or networking events. People tend to talk so much about the weather or the food that they don’t truly connect. In fact, many people complain that they have a ton of acquaintances but hardly any real friends.
Another one of Carnegie’s principles for winning people over is to get them to talk about themselves. While some people are naturally more talkative than others, it usually only takes a few questions and genuine displays of interest to get them to share more about what makes them happy. Once you get to the heart of who someone is, you can then begin to use this information to start reaching out to nurture your friendships.
For example, you can pull up your friends’ information on your Circles app and check to find someone who loves baseball to go with you to a game. Alternatively, you may suddenly discover that you are in over your head with a project at work and use the stored information on your app to find a colleague that is an expert on the subject to whom you can reach out.
Simply put, people love to form deeper relationships, but it takes effort and remembering critical information to help you get deeper than just a passing hello when you see someone you know.
Why Paying Attention Matters
If you’ve ever looked in your phone at a list of new contacts and tried to figure out who’s who after a party, then you are not alone. Too often, we are just breezing through conversations and meetings, and even the most basic information seems to slip through the cracks in our memory. Paying attention to the people that you meet not only helps you to keep track of who you know, but it also makes it clear that you care.
Carnegie also mentions in his book that you never want to make someone feel as though you are not interested in what they say. Little things really do add up with this one. During your conversations, always make eye contact and try to stick to the topics that you know interest them. When someone else is speaking, be sure to give feedback such as nodding or agreeing to what they say so that they know that you are listening.
Paying attention helps you to find tidbits of information that you can add to your database so that you always know exactly what to do to nurture your relationships.
Types of Information to Remember
Customer relation management applications track information about people such as their names, addresses and last point of contact. These types of information are also helpful for you to know when you anticipate a new social interaction. In addition to the basics, you should also try to keep track of dates that are important to people such as their birthday or upcoming milestones. You may also want to include the name of their spouse, kids, or pet.
Once you know more about someone, you can also keep track of their profile names on social media so that you can check in with them regularly. With close friends, it is also helpful to have information on hand about their interests. For instance, knowing that your colleague loves to cook gives you an excellent start on doing things such as finding a gift for their upcoming birthday or retirement party.
As you begin to store information about the people that you meet, you will find it much easier to determine who’s who in your contact list. In fact, you can even set reminders on your Circles app to remind you when it is time to reach out to someone that you haven’t talked to in a while. This way, your friendships will never fade.
How to Use Circles
Using the app is as simple as downloading it onto your Android or Apple device. Once it is there, you can begin the simple process of building your social network. Since all of the program is included on your phone, it is easy to open up the application and input new information after you end a conversation.
Once the information is in your Circles app, you can view a person’s profile at any time to refresh your memory about their likes and interests and feel confident before you head out to meet someone or make a phone call. Reminding yourself of all those important factoids about people helps you stand out as someone who genuinely cares in any social situation.
The world really can feel like a zoo sometimes with people constantly entering your life. Now that you have a way to keep track of it all, you can feel empowered to reach out and become an active participant in your social circle.
Download Circles today – for free!